i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
Randomize
