I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
Sacagawea was the original milf.
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
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