Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
Randomize
