I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
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