dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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