I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
the liver wants what the liver wants
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
