you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
She has the best kind of daddy issues
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
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