can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
Walk of Shame today included voting.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
Randomize
