You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
I use my feet as sexual weapons
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
Randomize
