Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
