Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Randomize
