when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Randomize
