is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
Randomize
