Can i not drive my cunt home
So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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