I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Randomize
