eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
Randomize
