im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize
