a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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