Fuck appropriateness.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Randomize
