I can't breathe out the right side of my face
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
Randomize
