you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
Randomize
