I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Randomize
