So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
is wine microwaveable?
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
Randomize
