They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
Randomize
