I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
