Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
Randomize
