Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
Randomize
