There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
Randomize
