no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
