So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
Randomize
