i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Randomize
