New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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