I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
either way he was missing a nipple.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
Randomize
