Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
Alive.
So much puke
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
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