I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
