OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
how drunk are you?
Several
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
Randomize
