I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
Randomize
