I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
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