i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
