Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
