Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
I just projectile vomited in a Methodist church parking lot. If Jesus didn't love me before he sure as hell doesn't now.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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