If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
