3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
The maid of honor just puked.
Me too!
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
Randomize
