She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
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