and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
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