Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
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