what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
