chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize
