his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Randomize
