He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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